This used to happen to me a few weeks after I quit smoking. I would have a horrible dream in which I went nuts, bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked them all. I would wake up wondering if I had done it or not until I came to my senses. It's scary business to lose a quit. You have to deal with all sorts of self-judgment. We can be really cruel to ourselves.
Last night, my dreams were filled with a smorgasbord of evil indulgences. I was drinking a bottle of wine in the car (while driving) and I was smoking at the same time. I was also driving a stick shift, which is odd because I haven't owned a car with a standard transmission is years. Anyway, it was a little frightening until I realized that it was just a dream.
I am definitely my own worst enemy.
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