When Will This Fatigue Go Away?

I have been reading about fatigue as a symptom of PAWS. It seems to be the only one I have, except for momentary lapses of patience. My God, I am tired. Still. I should go see my doctor, but I really want a few months of sobriety before I do. I want to give my body a chance to simmer down before all the blood tests and whatnot.

I drink a good amount of caffeine. One large Dunkin Donuts coffee every day and sometimes a little more. I usually have a mug of tea before bedtime, which tends to relax me despite the caffeine. Do I even need to be relaxed? I feel like a sloth on the couch by 9:30, fighting to keep awake. My husband and I work pretty late and don't get to spend time together until 8PM, most nights.I feel bad and wish I could be more alert for "our time."

I am eating REALLY WELL. I know it isn't my diet. Maybe I can use more protein. I am a vegetarian, though, so meat is out. I am consuming lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. I'm watching my calories. I exercise every morning. I am doing yoga every week. I feel like I am doing all the right things, but I can't shake this stupid fatigue. It's worse in the morning and seems to get better as the day goes on. Fuck a duck, I want to feel better.

My SMART meeting finally included some women this week. Two, actually. AA drop outs. Our meeting isn't super structured. We talk about our week, each person gets a chance to talk. The moderator picks out one tool from the manual and we discuss ways to apply the tool. One of the things we talked about this week was always having a plan. For example, when you go to an event or place where you know alcohol will be served, you should always know what you are going to drink, even if that means bringing your own. That way, your brain doesn't have to agonize over it when you get there. Seems simple enough, but it really is important. Also, we discussed having a plan in the event of an unexpected trauma. One of our group members was sober for 8 years and then something really, really bad happened. Out the door went his sobriety. Life is full of surprises, good and bad, and we have to be ready without the option of returning to alcohol. Even if it's a horrific event. I drank through the deaths of my parents. Less than an hour after my mother passed away (I was with her, caring for her at the time), I popped open a bottle of wine and drank it. Before the funeral home even carried her away. I always need to have a plan, even if it means drinking all the Lapsang Souchong tea in the state of Rhode Island.