Week Wrap Up

Good news! I am now over my 2 month mark! It hasn't been without it's challenges. And I think there will be some unforeseen ones on the horizon, too. This past weekend, my husband and I had a wonderful time with his side of the family. We played on the beach with our nieces and nephews, swam in the pool and played mini golf. It was a beautiful New England summer weekend and we enjoyed it to the maximum. We ended our time with them by having a nice dinner out. My father-in-law was drinking beer and I was not. I had made mention that I stopped drinking in May (didn't say why or make a big deal out of it) and he made a remark about how I was a lush. I think he was joking and if he understood the seriousness of my abstinence and that I am actually an alcoholic, he would have had a bit more tact. He also has no idea how very much I was drinking, but the comment still stung me a bit. He might also be a bit jealous. He drinks more than he ought to. I don't know, maybe it shouldn't have bothered me. I really need to see it for what it was and not take it personally. He doesn't know the half of it.

I haven't had the urge to drink for some time, it seems. I haven't had any huge epiphanies during my sobriety in a while, either. Just kind of trucking along. It's the new norm and it's okay. Every so often, I beat myself up for abusing the privilege of drinking, for ruining that pleasure for the rest of my life. But then I must remind myself that I did not set out to become an alcoholic. Of course, I own every little part of it, but I didn't ask to get to this point. It just sort of happened, and here I am.

Am I perfect? No. But I am trying to be a better person, to make better decisions. I have a ways to go, but I like to think that with every day I don't drink, I am getting closer to that person I want to be.