Booze Brain

I read this really helpful article on how one might stop drinking without going to AA. I love how the writer suggests that you separate your brain in two. One is your normal, human brain. The other is your booze brain. Your booze brain, the writer explains, is wired to survive. And since you have been physically or physiologically (or both) dependent on alcohol for so long, Booze Brain thinks you need it to survive. Booze Brain is sneaky. Sometimes, BB tells you straight out that you need a drink. Other times, BB sings a soft song about drinking while you are going about your day, promising a relaxing time on the couch and a good night's sleep. If Human Brain tries to suggest a night without drinking, BB goes into bargaining mode. Just one, BB says.

My Booze Brain looks and sounds like Audrey Hepburn. So innocent, so sophisticated. If I decide I want to dry out for a while, Booze Brain makes clever associations to try and tempt me. How about you go to Whole Foods, buy some fancy cheese, gourmet chocolate, French bread and a fine bottle of wine? None of it would get me to the store without the promise of a fine bottle of wine. But, BB knows that in order to get me on board, it needs to bring the other things into the fold.

I drink every day. Got to have my 3-4 glasses of wine. Sometimes, I am really pooped out and all I want to do is get home, but Booze Brain demands that I take a left into the parking lot of the liquor store. I feel like a robot being programmed. Swinging open the doors, taking in the intoxicating liquor store smell and marching over to my favorites. More on Liquor Stores later. That's a whole blog post unto itself. The point is, BB is a mighty force. Non-addicted people do not understand, and they never will because their brain chemistry doesn't work like mine. I've never done cocaine, heroin or any other horrible drug, but I certainly understand the power of addiction. You might watch a show about an addict who chooses junk over her children and think, How? Well, I know how. They've got Junk Brains.

When Human Brain says: Geez, what are the neighbors going to think about all of the wine bottles in the recycling bin?
Booze Brain responds: Throw some of them into the trash and hide a bunch of them at the bottom of the bin.

When Human Brain says: Maybe I won't drink tonight.
Booze Brain responds: Sure you will, silly! Start your quit tomorrow.

When Human Brain says: My health is going to fail.
Booze Brain responds: There are people who drink more and harder than you. What's the matter with a little red wine? It's got health benefits, you know. By European standards, you are quite normal, dear.

Basically, my British sounding Booze Brain has an answer for everything.